Oh brother...

My brother arrived in Paris to visit me Monday and, let's just say, I'm wondering why I insisted that he'd come. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and we generally get along, but apparently I've grown up so much that his overly judgmental, sensitive, and borderline narcissistic behavior is unbearable. He meets people and spends nearly all the conversation talking about himself and when the conversation isn't on himself it somehow gravitates back to something regarding him. I mentioned to him that K just finished his book and not once did he ask what the book was about, K got confirmation from a journal that one of his academic papers will be published in it and my brother doesn't even care to ask what it was about, what journal, when the publication would be, or even to give a congratulation. Instead, he starts in on one of his long, boring tangents about this, that, and the other.

I think the worst of the whole thing is that he acts like he is such a know it all. We go into Paris and one of the music stores he wanted to go to is closing for lunch. For the whole day he's walking ahead of me as if he knows where he is going, then randomly he gets extremely upset and decides that he's going to have a bitch fit all day and actually run off into a crowd of people right in front of the Galeries de Lafayette where, after walking back and forth three times, I left him to come home to my cell phone having had 14 missed calls. When he returns, he goes on and on about how he realized he could have taken an easier route, but that he just decided to follow my directions. Er....right. It's so frustrating. Moreover, I'm broke because I had to spend money I did not have to take him around Paris which he finds to be "OK," while he waited to get paid Thursday. Did he pay me any of the 200 + euros that I've spent on food, tickets, etc.? No. What's more is that he goes on and on about wanting to meet cool English speakers, particularly girls (whom, while walking in Paris, instead of marveling at the architecture and scenery, he focuses on) and so I, at least, take him to the pub that me and K and the others frequent. Not only does he get piss drunk (or so I hope that "show" was a result of alcohol) in front of everyone, but he's so bad to the point that we all, after walking through the rain to try to catch the bus, end of paying for a taxi. The next morning there's no apology, just him ignoring me and sleeping all day, refusing to eat until later when I make him something to eat, he decides he wants the stuff I bought for myself, eats that and throws the food I made away.

I honestly feel like I'm dealing with a child. He wants to do everything by himself, but is so immature that as soon as you give him free reign to go go go he comes crying back to you because someone hurt his feeling. It's ridiculous, so ridiculous that I'd rather he leave Sunday instead of staying another week. It's excruciating having him here. It's honestly embarrassing to have someone who, whenever I tell him about me and K running doing funny, harmless drunk stuff, his response is "I don't get why you guys are always getting drunk, it's so pathetic because I never get drunk or hangovers." How pretentious is that? I'm kind of regretful that instead of me and K having more random, romantic walks in Paris, or movie nights, or funny pubs nights hanging out with the few cool cats around, I'm stuck dealing with my ungrateful brother that I begged to come here (it's a little selfish, but I'd much rather spend my time with K than with him... I feel horrible saying it, but after the recent events I can't help it).

Oh well, oh well, oh well.

Dreadful!

The semester has ended (well, not until tomorrow --actually thursday but I've no need to go after tomorrow- and to get my test back ), I've got a month and a half left, me and the boy have gotten closer and closer, even after a world wind thursday night that had me briefly afraid we were through-- it only made us closer to each other and completely destroyed any feelings of uncertainty that were creeping up in my head. Saturday, after two days of him apologizing profusely and me telling him to forget about it, we went over to his uncle's place and he cooked us a nice dinner and we chatted about random things, it was really nice and oddly enough I felt at home. We actually got on the subject of what it would be like if he met my dad, what my brother his like--it's so weird! I feel sick when think that I wasted four months not with him, and even worse when I think that after we've shared so much with each other about our lives that we're just suppose to break up and move on. What are we to do?

On a lighter note, my brother will be coming to Paris next Monday. His ticket was extremely expensive, but at least he's finally coming and he'll get to meet K and all. Unfortunately my brother is leaving right before K's sisters come to visit. I'm really excited about it. I never thought that I'd be excited to meet someone's family but it's nice. I'm happy that he'll get to meet my brother though. It's going to be a nice final month, although undeniably surrounded by a invisible field of sadness and regret, it will be nice.