Where oh where can my loan letter be....

Yes, I am still waiting for that blasted loan letter. It's been a month of "it'll be out in a few weeks," says one guy, "it'll be out next week," says a woman a few days later, "we're sending letters out today and tomorrow," says the same woman to K when he called, "I can't give you a specific date as to when they'll be out," says the same woman to me a day later.

So, I figured I'd give them a week before I started berating them. K insisted I start immediately pestering them nonstop. Thursday I cracked. I called and got the first guy on the phone who was way more helpful than the woman I talked to. I think that conversation is a pure and simple example of how USELESS financial aid departments are/can be (this is me paraphasing):
him: Ok, so let me look at your information on our system and I'll see where we are with your application.
me: ok.
him: um... alright so we have all your information and it looks like we're waiting to hear back from the states for verifying your MPN. I can't tell you when we'll hear back from them.
me: ah, alright but the problem is, I've got a flight booked for mid-August...and I can't apply for my visa until I get that letter.
him: ummm... mid-August, eh? hmmm... hold on, I'm going to talk to my colleague and get back to you.
me: alright.
I sat for about two minutes listening to that horrible hold sound... it's just as irritating and disconcerting as the sound French phones make when you call someone.
him: ok, we'll it looks like we can go ahead and use that MPN we have for you and get your letter out today or tomorrow with the next batch [of letters].
me: !! oh great! Does that mean I'll get it by next week?
him: yeah, it usually takes 5 to 7 days or so (blah blah blah lightly accented scottish mummbles).

Now, why did I have to lie about the date of my flight (I just said I was leaving a few days earlier) to get some fucking progress? It's ridiculous. I'm assuming I'll get it in the mail by Thursday at the latest. FINALLY I won't have to move my biometrics back again!

Now, on to work related shananagins.

Everytime I talk to an artist (today I telephoned M. Sontheimer about a work he did for the museum, so nice!) I have remorse for not taking more art classes. Now I know me and I know I am NOT an art class person (at least at this point). I couldn't stand taking classes where I'm told what to draw and how to think about art. Now I've got no with being taught the things all artists should know (different types of composition, color, lighting, values, or how to best use certain mediums). I understand the importance of the basics. BUT! Beyond that, I'm a all about experimentation, which is why I did not apply to MFA programs. I like the idea of opening up a students mind to artists, to concepts, requiring reading, requiring we look at different artists. I know that's too personal an approach for a class of something like twenty+ students. That's the stuff that inspired me to make art, gives me ideas, and helps me move forward in my art production. I mean, I made a huge leap in making art when I went to Paris, started reading tons of French literature and art criticism/theory, went to museums and galleries, and sketched, a lot. That's when it hit me what I wanted to do artistically. Obviously, for me, studio classes weren't going to do that for me.

So why do I feel so guilty for not taking more of them??

K's sister C just graduated from Central St. Martins (she did her final show, a live art piece, and had two galleries approach her about doing it again for them). She now HATES arts schools, mainly because of the number of rich wankers that go there. I can imagine I would feel the same. To me the most obvious benefit is the number of contacts one gets when doing a degree and the experience (whether in museums or exhibiting on campus). Now THAT I wish I'd not missed out on. I did enter exhibitions (and got into one) my first semester of college and then stopped, as I was researching where I wanted my work to go and what I wanted it to say for about two years. I mainly stopped because I didn't like the work I had.

I think now I just worry about whether people take me seriously when I say "I'm getting masters in Modern Art history but I'm also a studio artist/painter?" I think I'm afriad there's a biased in the eyes of artists for those who don't do art history instead of studying art route. There's a method to my madness... I promise!

My artistic goals for this year (Sept-Sept):
Rebuild my portfolio (I'm leaving my recent and most beloved paintings here in Texas because it's too expensive to ship them, so I've got to make a new portfolio of work) with at least fifteen paintings and drawings-- maybe less if I do some more big paintings
-participate in local art shows and become familiar with art scene (i.e. GO to gallery opens and stay on top of what's going on in the art world).
-keep exploring the use of pastels/ink on paper
-experiament with unprimed canvas and ink/staining (I've always used primed canvans, now I'm switching over)
-STRETCH MY OWN FUCKING CANVAS DAMNIT! It'll save me tons... maybe.