A moveable feast...

This is my last night in Edinburgh, a city I honestly did not enjoy very much. I’ve had far too many bad club nights, far too many arguments, and far too many mixed feelings about my relationship— all of which I believe was exacerbated by the malaise that was my malcontent living in this city.

Don’t get me wrong, Edinburgh, like all cities, is not all bad. But it is just not for me. I won’t explain for fear of sounding overtly critical— suffice to say, it’s not the place I hoped for.

Paris. To be honest, I was bound to never like Edinburgh simply because my desire to return to Europe was fueled by a desire to return to the City of Lights. I wanted the mysticism of Paris back, the naiveté of two years ago back, my liberation back. I thought it wasn’t simply the sensation of being in France that made that time so great, I thought it was just being in Europe in general. Gross, and very stupid, misunderstanding. Plus, it was easier to do graduate school in the UK. I took the easy way out, avoided language tests, although my French is fairly good, I just wanted to be out of Texas again. In that sense, Edinburgh served it’s purpose. But I quickly realized it wasn’t for me and instantly had a longing again for France. The result? I return tomorrow, not to Paris as it’s a tad too expensive for me, but to it’s northern city-mate Rouen. Less than an hour away by train? Yes, I can deal with that.

I went to France a month ago to apartment hunt. Found a place in Rouen rather easy and returned to spend a nice day in Paris before flying home for the last time. Just walking in the city gave my goosebumps, it gave me butterflies— it was like I was there for the first time feeling the summer heat and the moving people. I felt as if something was breathing into me, breathing exhilaration and inspiration into my lungs and beckoning for my hasty return. If I was unsure if I should come back, I was certain at that moment that I had made the right decision.

I can’t wait to begin again, I just hope that I don’t end up disappointed