I'm moving in a month!

I can't wrap my head around this... I'm literally moving away, forever, from this god aweful land of heat and rain and sweat (I'm angry with the Texas heat at the moment as I have no air conditioning)! It's unbelievable. I'm not going to study and then return, not going to visit, but going to live abroad...crazy!

I've been thinking about this as of late (mainly because everyone keeps asking me silly questions like "why would you want to live in Europe? What if you don't like it? What makes you think it's great?"). I've always wanted to live abroad. As early as middle school I was planning my escape to Europe thinking maybe I could convince my parents to let me switch places with an European student for a semester, or, maybe I could just go and take language courses. When I graduated high school I thought about being an au pair. In college I worked hard on learning French with dreams of transfering to a French university somewhere (I grossly underestimated 1) the difficulty in mastering pronunciation 2) how high of a level was required to get in, something I would have never attained without studying abroad first). Luckily, I finally did get to France, not for as long as I wanted, but I made it and gained so much from the experience ( a boyfriend, a much better level of French, confidence and love in/for myself). People sure don't lie about studying abroad being an invaluable experience.

Now, I'm off again, in a month, to make Edinburgh my home (at least for a year). Then maybe London, then Spain, then then then! Who knows where I'll end up, but hopefully not back in Texas (no offense to Texans, it's just not the place I want to be)!

On a more beautiful, but kind of sad note, here's a lovely poem by my favorite Surrealist poet Mallarme.

Apparition

La lune s'attristait. Des séraphins en pleurs
Rêvant, l'archet aux doigts, dans le calme des fleurs
Vaporeuses, tiraient de mourantes violes
De blancs sanglots glissant sur l'azur des corolles.
C'était le jour béni de ton premier baiser.
Ma songerie aimant à me martyriser
s'enivrait savamment du parfum de tristesse
Que même sans regret et sans déboire laisse
La cueillaison d'un Rêve au coeur qui l'a cueilli.
J'errais donc, l'oeil rivé sur le pavé vieilli
Quand avec du soleil aux cheveux, dans la rue
Et dans le soir, tu m'es en riant apparue
Et j'ai cru voir la fée au chapeau de clarté
Qui jadis sur mes beaux sommeils d'enfant gâté
Passait, laissant toujours de ses mains mal fermées
Neiger de blancs bouquets d'étoiles parfumées.

Might as well....

I figured I might as well update...

No news really, or well, I guess there's a bit to talk about. Firstly, the internship has gotten more than a bit boring, but is almost over so I'll survive. I did get to meet an artist though. A local, but internationally known artist with the initials of TDH (he's living in Houston at the moment, did a show at a gallery in Edinburgh, is from Paris Texas). If you can guess it I'll give you a prize (well, not really, but you can feel gooey inside for being so learned)! He was really nice, I got to see his studio. He's been added to my list of people who don't think I'm from the Texas... or I guess the US. He said I had an aura that wasn't very Texas-like. Yay I have a unique aura! Haha.

Another reason why the job has reached it a point of annoyance with me is that for the past week or so I had one of the maintenance guys opening doors for me, being overly nice in a suspicious way, and then he followed me up stairs from the first floor (my office is on the third floor, he was coming out of the first floor door leading to the front of the museum to the elevators/stairs). He held the door for me, which is fine. Then, after I'd been at my desk for about 10 minutes he came down the hallway... I think he followed me up? I think this because he came in and asked me when I was leaving (my manager stopped to have a conversation with him a few weeks ago when we were coming in from lunch, which I think started this whole thing) and if I wanted to get lunch some time. Aside from the fact that I have a boyfriend, which makes going to lunch with some strange man who obviously isn't just interested in being friends with me awkward, the fact that he "stalked" me upstairs is just unsettling. So, obviously I told him no. I tried to do it in a nice way. I think it worked because I haven't seen him since. I know asking someone out and being turned down can be so embarrassing, so I kind of feel bad. I always have weird individuals asking me out.... why I don't know.

I'm currently battling the dreaded UK visa stuff. Actually, I'm mostly battling Edinburgh's slowness in regard to the loan award letters. It's not their fault, really. I mean, the program did just change. However, US schools just switched over too and the process isn't take NEARLY as long. Maybe it's the time difference.

I applied to a ton of charities and trusts in the UK for grants. I really hope I get at least one of the seven or so I applied to. I've gotten no goes from two so far. One doesn't give grants for arts degrees and the other is broke (also known as "uninterested-in-giving money-to-me" broke).

I still haven't heard about the Saltire scholarships. I think each university gets 200 scholarships to give out? Maybe that's what's taking so long, that is a lot of people. You'd think that since I got the more competitive scholarship for more money that I'd be in a shoe in for this one (that's based entirely on merit as well), but maybe they'll decide to spread the wealth?

PLEASE SPREAD MORE MY WAY, I'M STILL BROKE!

A sigh of relief....

So with all the changes to the financial aide process for US students, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to apply for a loan until July and then, not be able to apply for my visa until late July/early August. BUT NOW I've found out that Edinburgh is able to process loan applications before July 1st, I'll be able to do my MPN and Entrance counseling as soon as the uni is put on the system (none of the foreign universities are on there yet, but they're doing a website update so I presume they'll be put on there by next week). Then, I'll be able to get my award letter and apply for my visa by early July, late June to have it by the start of August. Yay!


This means that I'll likely be moving to Scotland in mid-August, that is if K doesn't change his mind and decide he wants to move Sept. 1st to save on rent (which means I'll be in Ireland for two weeks before going to Edinburgh). It makes sense to do that, but I REALLY want to move to Edinburgh two months. The Fringe festival is going on, for one, and it'll be nice to get acquainted with the city. Aside from that, I don't really want to stay with K's 'rents again. There's been so much drama and negativity that I don't think I would be able to manage to bite my tongue again like last time.

As for work at my new fancy job, it's been great. I really like the MFAH and I'll love learning about all the contemporary artists.

Now, it is time for... US v. Britain!

And the boredom begins...

So it's been a week since K left, and both of us are suffering already! He went home to have to deal with the death cloud that is his sister and I'm home dealing with the complete and utter boredom that is... Houston.

Luckily for me, I start work on Monday. I'm still trying to find suitable retainers for my piercings (the ones I bought are way to obvious and would fall out repeated). I bought some push-in biofit retainers that should arrive tomorrow, so hopefully they work.

And it seems that, finally, I will be going to Barcelona! Yes yes, in September K's sister has a her wedding in Spain (a town close to Malaga) and we've decided to do a bit of traveling before then. Soooo, we will leave a week ahead of time, fly from Edinburgh to Barcelona and stay for four days, then head down to Malaga and then fly back to Edinburgh on Sunday. I was trying to find a way for use to go to Tangier, but it's too expensive to go at the moment. Maybe we'll just plan to go to Morocco for three months or so at some point after my masters *mouth waters*.

ugh.......

10 days

My graduation was Saturday and I am so happy it's all over. I can't say it was that great (with my rather annoying family being around, rearranging plans that had been rearranged specifically for them, and then the dreaded barbecue), but after all the shenanigans it was alright. Me and K have been enjoying all the extensive (and expensive) remodeling my parents have done to their place and we'll finally be back in Denton tomorrow to sadly away K's departure in ten days. I'm already so sad! Maybe the volcano will kick off again and he'll be stuck here for another week (that is, if he doesn't find out he's stuck in the US after he's in Chicago, where he's flying out... :/).

Aside from that, I found out today I got a scholarship from Edinburgh, 3000 pounds (about $4300) off my tuition! So happy! Hopefully I'll get the Scottish Satire scholarship as well, which would give me a total of 5000 pounds off my tuition (nearly half!).

I'm kind of ready for summer to start, although I've still got some loose ends to tie up (sending my transcript to Edinburgh after my degree is posted, packing crap, buying clear piercing retainers for work, reading K's 2nd book draft before he leaves). As soon as summer starts it will end, then I'll be flying off to Europe again! YIPPEEE!

"this is the trip, the best part, that i really like..."

(Two weekends ago) was literally too much of everything after K and I finished helping a friend shoot a short film for his class. Too much alcohol, too much partying, and way too much of "the doors" blaring in my ears from around 1 am to 10 am, when K conked out and left me jittering about the apartment unable to sleep. I was literally wide awake until 11pm sunday night... TOO MUCH PARTYING! I'm still recovering... and so is K; this is by far the most sedate both of us has been for a while. Hahah.

Today (last week, actually) we're treating ourselves to a nice meal at the local Thai restaurant after we finish filming (hopefully the place will still be open when we're done).

With graduation in two weeks, I am officially starting my summer diet. I've somehow managed to gain 5 pounds since coming back from Paris that will not stay off (I've lost 5 and then some, then gained it back and then some, repeatedly). I'm sure it's partially got to do with the fact that my boyfriend 1) likes to party 2) can eat whatever he wants and not gain weight 3) thinks i can eat whatever i want and not gain weight, and therefore is always offering me the junk food he's eating and, finally 4) i have little willpower.

All of the above was written last week but I never got around to posting it. Aside from the above, nothing's happened aside from having taken my finals and, impatiently, waiting for graduation on Saturday, final transcripts on Monday, and my official acceptance letter from Edinburgh... whenever it comes.

Now, apparently, my dad's side of the family is coming to my graduation barbecue this weekend. I actually don't want them to come, unless they bring money (I've got credit cards to pay off!). It's sad, but true. For some reason people from the past always leave bad tastes in my mouth. It'll be worse because it's a class between my future (K, grad school) and the past (opinionated, uninteresting relatives I've not seen nor have wanted to see in years). Returning to Houston in less than a month, and K leaving is worse enough, but to have a taste of the repression that is my family is borderline too much. AH!

On a lighter note, I'm dying my hair again. I've decided on a lighter version of what I have now (essentially, touching up my roots and lightening the rest do i have highlights). You'd think it wouldn't work out well, but it does. I might go and buy dye today, out of pure boredom with my hair.