je brûle d'impatience de le voir!

It's K day! He arrived in about four hours and I'm so overly excited. It's funny, I'm relatively calm and then, in the middle of doing something and upon thinking of him actually being here, I have a burst of squealing and smiling uncontrollably.

My parents are about an hour from me at the moment; we all decided it would be easier if they just came up for the day to meet him; primarily because 1) I have no car to drive the five hours to their place 2) it's five hours away 3) i work the weekends and they live five hours away!

So, now they're on their way, bringing me a love seat they don't use, some of my books, and other things. My mom is stoked to meet K and I think my dad has-- er, hopefully -- abandoned his strategy of "interrogate, intimidate, interrogate!" He might actually attempt to be the nice human being he's capable of being, after all he did offer to pick K up from the airport. It's a good thing too because it's raining cats and dogs here, I couldn't imagine K, who has been struck with ailment after ailment recently, would be interested in exploring the city or my small university town on such a soggy day.

Anyway, I'm off to have another burst of glee and impatience!

Work, school, applications/forms!

This week was the official first week of my last year in undergrad and boy was it busy! Going to work at the gallery, filling out forms for the honor's college, printing and reading articles for class, and looking up graduate schools abroad-- all of that plus fitting a nicotine deprived K into my busy, busy schedule. I have managed, and managed well.

I'm still missing some things though.

For instance, I still need to have my professor's signature so I can begin working on this independent research paper (so I can have honors credit for class), drop off another form to the Honor's college to have my Senior seminar count as an Honor's capstone course -DONE-, start on my Statement of Purpose for college, email the apartment complex K's info since he'll be my guest for two weeks, and the list goes on.....

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At the moment I'm sitting in the gallery reading Santeria Enthroned and hoping I'll get an email later saying I'm off work tomorrow-- which would mean a three days of freedom for me (no school on Monday because of labor day), which ultimately translates to more leisure and work time. Well, it mostly means that I just won't have to sit in this cold gallery for six hours.

Last night I made up a wonderful schedule to insure that I'm one class meeting ahead in all my courses, something that will make it easier for me to juggle everything as well as entertain K while his here instead of being bogged down with work. Actually, even this week, without being a head on readings and everything, I found it rather easy to make sure all the work I was expected to do was done-- it was not as stressful as I thought it would be. Next week, though, I'll be much more relaxed as I've already finished readings for two classes for the next two weeks, will finish papers for them as well, and have successfully established which graduate schools I'll apply to (starting the generic SOP for them tonight). I'm very proud of myself; I think K's meticulous nature has rubbed off on me!

So, these are the graduate programs I'm applying to, slightly in order of which I prefer (and I do mean slightly). I think this list is pretty set in stone, although whether I apply to Paris I/IV is dependent on whether or not I get the C1 level on the TCP/DALF:
-University of Edinburgh, School of Arts, Culture, and Environment "MSc Modern Art: History, Curating, Criticism"
-City University London's MA in Culture, Policy, Management (in Art)
-IESA's MA in the Art Market
-Paris I's M1 in Art Market/Business

On the fence with:
Birkbeck University

As you can see, my Paris choice has dropped below the others which allow me a new, international experience. Edinburgh sounds like a dream, I've never been there but everything about the program and about the city (that I've been told) is appealing-- medieval style architecture, beautiful landscape, program that focuses on modern art history as well as vocational experience... it's all so much of what I want. Plus, the fact that I've not been there and, therefore, will have a new experience abroad is extremely exciting. I'd love to go to this university. CUL and IESA are appealing as well because I'd spend the bulk of my studies, if not all of them, in London (ironic, since after I visited for a day I was insanely bored of it) and I'd have opportunities for internships. With Paris, the benefits are that it's insanely cheap, is entirely in Paris, and requires an internship. The benefit of all of these in comparison to NYU's Gallatin program (which was going to be the only US program I applied to)? Well, they're shorter and are $60, 000 + less, plus they put in the same city or close to K, although I'm sure he wouldn't mind finally conquering North American, one of the few places he hasn't lived in yet.

Anyway, according to him and what will seemingly be my 1st class honors degree when I graduate (as says University College London's page on degree equivalents), I'll "get all of them." I'm thinking so too, especially adding my research/conference experience, language proficency (-ish), and job experience (uni gallery work counts too, right?), I should have all of them in the bag. Plus, or so I've heard, UK unis taking American money-- and I'd be more than willing to give it, especially to Edinburgh.

Le voyage a Houston continue a prendre l'eau

There's one thing I can't stand in people and it is the tendency for people to lie and talk about others all in the spirit of feeding their own egos. The inimical nature of people is what I can't stand; it is an inherent, humanistic vice, everyone has it to some extent, which means, in turn, that I can't very well fault someone entirely for it. I can, however, fault people for not being aware of it and trying, at least trying, to subvert it.

After a good, long talk with my sister (whom I haven't talked to in ages), I'm extremely uncertain if K and I should go to Houston. After the falsities she said our very own parents said about me - thankfully only to her and her fiance, but still falsities - I'm not quite sure I'd be up for the ridiculousness, nor would I be up for sending K off with the aforementioned ridiculousness being one of the last things we did before his 11 hour flight home.

My sister: Oh! Let me tell you what your father said about you!
Me: uhmm, ok.
My sister, trying to stifle her laughter: apparently you're pregnant, paying for K's plane flight, and he only wants to be with you in order to get a green card.
me: oh... my... god...
My sister is, at this point, laughing hysterically and I am too... although the anger and frustration of it all is slowly building.
me: apparently I'm not good enough for someone to put in an honest effort to be with me...
my sister: you know very well how your parents are... there's no changing their minds with facts or figures, they conjure up their own ideas for everything. They are "always" right, at least in their minds.

No, I shall address all of these issues, one by one:
Pregnant? Where my dad got this idea is beyond me because I have not been sick, not gained weight, not given any signs of pregnancy... moreover, I had my period a day after arriving in the US!! As for paying for K's ticket, I shy away from lending my own family money, plus, and this is the supreme fact that obliterates this already tenuous argument, I'M BROKE AS HELL. I mean dirt broke, so broke I can't buy textbooks, so broke I can't buy groceries... hence why my mom is paying for my apartment (well, that's more so apart of the deal of being away for college and doing well blah blah). It's so funny because they honestly think that K is trying to get money out of me, when, in Paris and again, dirt broke, he offered to pay for us to go out, eat, drink, even for me to buy gifts for my ungrateful parents (which I never got around to buying, thank god). He has even offered to pay for my ticket to Ireland in December, which I will likely decline as I've two jobs and just hate the idea of him paying for everything.

Lastly, the green card business is... comical at best. Especially considering I'm the one more liable to see that as an advantage than him (i.e. I want to be an EU citizen and have no plans on staying in the US!). But, again again again and with more evidence that those statements were meant only to castigate without even a morsel of legitimacy, one must live in whatever country he or she desires to become a citizen of for three years and be married for more than a year. Um, although I'd love to imagine me and K going down the road of marriage one day, we've only been together for four months! Four.months. Not at all long enough to even think about marriage, we've only got things figured out up until December/May as it is! Speaking of which, my plan is to go to EUROPE in May, for an extended period of time, not the other way around. So where and why in the world did this concept come into my father's head?

My parents went on vacation last week to Florida where they met up with my sister and her fiance. There was alcohol involved, but unfortunately when my dad said these things he was sober, sober, sober. I can't figure it out at all. I'm just highly disappointed. I mean, since I've been back I've dealt with this whole thing in a mature fashion, dealt with my parents like adults instead of cowering for talking about me and K like my brother does when it comes to him and his girlfriend (who they should be worrying about instead of me).

I just feel like the whole thing will be so embarrassing, embarrassing because my parents can't seem to pull themselves together long enough to be normal, socially functional people or see when one of their children is trying very much to forge a good, honest, loving relationship with them, an opportunity they've already lost with two of my siblings. It's mainly embarrassing because I've seen/heard K talk to and about his parents who, although they too have their moments, at least give their children respect and room to breathe/live, etc. Why in the world can't mine? I know, I know, there was no critical damage done, but I guess I'm just agitated because I really thought I had a more trusting relationship than this with them and that being truthful would be the best route to show how much I've matured, but apparently not. I give up, I'll just be secretive and noncompliant like my other siblings are. Apparently that works much better than my method.

September seems all the sweeter now!

K and I finally got a chance to talk today, after not being able to chat this weekend due to slow internet, a trip to Rouen, and him wanting to spend time with his uncle who was rather torn up he was leaving Paris, all of this, plus the 3 + messages we sent each other back and forth-- what a busy last week in Paris he had!

So, today he made his exit back to Ireland and not at all without a horrid and costly bag rules mix up with one of those blasted charter airlines, a mix up that cost him 200+ euros and a great deal of agitation, understandably.

After hearing about this whole thing, I was honestly rather worried that he wouldn't be able to buy his ticket this week as planned, but, thankfully, although his wallet is a bit bruised, all is well in that department. What's more, he'll actually be coming a week early, at the end of September, instead of the beginning of October. This is honestly about the fourth time we've changed the dates he'd be coming : Originally, when the ld relationship topic was in its prelim. stages, I had suggested January... I'm very happy that plan was thrown out the book, because I doubt either of us would have been able to last that long (missing each other tremendously ALREADY). After we talked a bit more, I said the beginning of November, then K said September, then we settled on October, now we're offically settled on the end of September and he'll stay for 10 beautiful days (well, it won't be official until the ticket is bought, but it's pretty well in stone now). I'm so excited because September will definitely zoom by, what with school, work, and graduate school applications in my cards.

I so badly what the semester to start so K can be here, then school will be out, and then I'll be off to Ireland in December/January.

The funiest thing about this semester is that, aside from one or two classes at the maximum, this really is my last semester of undergraduate. So, if I can stay the course in regard to my 4.0 streak, I will be free free free! Well... of the US higher education system, anyway. :)

EDIT:

It's official, he's coming on the 17th and staying for two weeks! Je suis ravie!

Just a worry goose

Ok, so now the apartment and job stuff has been sorted-- all figured out by Friday. I guess I was worrying a bit too much. It's such a relief! I will be in Denton as of Monday and my darling will have bought his ticket Tuesday week (or, in American English, the next Tuesday or the Tuesday after this coming one).

Evidently I have other things to worry about in regard to that-- to fly into Houston or to Dallas. My parents are being unreasonable and unreasonable for no reason! We can't stay with them because they'd want us to have separate rooms (understandable), except there are no extra rooms in their house! That wouldn't be an option anyway, since there's no way I would put K through the horror of dealing with my father trying to get under his skin and then him having to sleep under the same roof with the man. So, I was opting for an hotel that me and K would stay in for a day while in Houston, then head down to Denton. Apparently, even THIS is unacceptable to them... although they do realize K will be spending the rest of his stay in my apartment, alone... so what's the big deal?

I think we've decided on him flying into Dallas and afterwards deciding whether or not to come to Houston. It's kind of sad considering he was adamant about meeting my parents before, now he just sees all of this as childish and has lost his zeal for the whole thing, especially with the inevitable, unpleasant encounter he'll have with my dad. I'm not very well sure I could bare seeing my dad be blatantly rude to K, for no reason whatsoever, and not say something to him about it. It's just frustrating that K's family has been extremely respectful and hospitable to me and mine won't even attempt to return that to him. He has even invited me to come to Ireland for Christmas because his whole family will be there and wants to meet me. I just don't get why mine can't be so open to people-- especially when the people are making their children so extremely happy. Now that is unacceptable.

This, however, is only a small worry. I've got a week to decide what we'll do. I might just get the hotel and let my parents deal with it as they like. Why can't we act like adults?

No apartment, no classes, no baby (physically anyway), why am I here again?

I've been back in Texas for nearly two weeks and have been left with a load of regret and wonder... why am I here again? I mean honestly, I have around 8 classes to take for school to have a BA I will not be able to use for jobs at all, my dollface is across the pond being eaten by ferocious mosquitos and boredom, and I have no place to leave in Denton, where I need to be for classes and my job that starts on the 25th. Moreover, my parents, and quite frankly the whole of my family, are being the biggest "wankers" in the universe. At this rate, life has gone pretty downhill in a very short span of time.

I'm slowly moving back into my typical mode of pessimism and ceaseless complaints. Luckily, this time, I have someone who doesn't mind listening to/dealing with it.

Now, I'm drowning these things with bottles of Stella so that the gravity of my predicament doesn't bring me too far down as I await, what I assume, will be a resounding "not approved" for the one bedroom apartment I've been eyeing since the beginning of July-- a result not created from bad credit, or poor rental experience, no, no, it will be because of not enough rental experience and no guarantors with good credit. My god, how ridiculous. At worst, I'll be moving into my old apartment complex in September 1st and have to stay in a motel for a week. Ugh... excessive, but I might not have a choice. I guess this is one of those moments when I wish I had good friends.

Ok, back to the my Stella.

Sad, sad Texas.

Yes, I'm back State side and am filled with honest regret for not finding some way to stay in France longer. Being here is like being shrunken after having grown so much. I came back, though, with an extra 600 euros that I didn't know I'd have (my flight was overbooked and I volunteered to stay another night in Frankfurt for 600 euros and a free hotel + meals and transportation). It's unfortunate that I couldn't have had that layover in Paris, instead of horrible, horrible Frankfurt.

As for me and K, we've talked/emailed/texted each other everyday since I left. It's been hard being away from him considering how much time we spent together (we were literally living together, sleeping in the same room, eating together, etc). He's planning to visit at the end of September or the beginning of October. I plan to visit him in Spain (if he gets this job) or Ireland/UK in March or maybe January for my spring break. Afterwards I'll be back for the long haul in Europe as of late May, early June. That is, of course, if all goes well with applying for my master's at Paris I/Paris IV. We'll see, I suppose. It's just too boring here to stay beyond what I'm required to do to graduate.